womanUnplugged

Who gives herself an orgasm in such early hours of the evening? Who gets all shaky legs from an orgasm? Who falls a sleep after an orgasm?! What am I? – A man?! That is not normal, I tell you.

Well, when thinking about it, it wasn’t an orgasm. They were two. One right after the other! That is not normal, I tell you.

That little devil! It knew it all along. Hiding that little secret of his. Well now that little-big secret is ours. Its mine too.

The moment I put it on, I knew this is going to end up goodly. I could feel those vibrations all the way up and down my spine. That is not normal, I tell you.

I will have to share this with the whole living female universe. I will have to tell it (the female universe) all about it. Tell them so they will not wait, will not hesitate, will run and get one of their own!

Oh hell, I might as well start now: females of the universe, go get yourself a vibrator! Otherwise it is not normal, I tell you!

Let me get back to you girls. I am too shaky now to get any further line right.

My first ever vibrator! How will it feel?

I actually got it, and right in the last minute!

I had to go abroad on a business trip for couple of days and when I came back, I found out that the post office almost sent the “tiny devil” back to where it came from because that is what they do if no one picks it up after 14 days. I certainly took my time there.

But this doesn’t matter because now I got it, and I am so excited about it. I actually don’t feel like using it today but who knows – some times I even surprise myself.

Being thin, but feeling like an elephant?

Try telling that to someone on your first date. Something like:

Me > “You know, I figured out that no matter how big I might get, I can always stay nimble.”

The guy > “I will be right back, I think I forgot to turn off the stove in my apartment…“.

I was walking down town a few days ago when a male cyclists came whizzing just next to me. As the street was going uphill this cyclist stood up and detaching his, with shiny Polyester cloth wrapped, bottom-side from the painful to see narrow bicycle saddle.

And what a glorious piece of butt that was! – Firm as only 5 days-a-week cycling trained muscle can be, full and artistically round.

I am sorry. I know it is not polite to stare at strangers, but this arse of his didn’t look a tiny bit like a stranger to me. Did it ever happen to you that you met a person for the first time but still – this person looked so familiar right from the first glance? This is exactly what I felt with the ass at hand, the only problem being that it was not in my hand. At this moment I wished I had a camera, I wished I had a bike too, to chase this long lost familiar body part.

If a friend would have told me about such a situation and asked how I would have reacted were I present at the moment of ass-revelation, I think I would have said that it wouldn’t have bothered me too much. For that I think that a hidden hand was leading me that day: hormones – can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

I think with some luck I can find where this guy lives…

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling inside, like something is going to happen. It disappeared when I arrived at work, or I guess it was masked by the stress and commotion in the office. Today was a stressed day, it seems to me like everyone needs something from me (mostly information…) and I can’t say no to my dear new team – I simply like them a lot. The funny thing is that we are all new to this. I got here only one month before them. Still I see that this makes a big difference.

At lunch break I felt it once again. I had a few moments alone and this feeling surfaced once again. It was pleasant, which made me immediately worried… After lunch I got even more busy with all the paper work that I barely had the time to have my regular cup of tea. It just stood there on my desk, in my miniature cubical and got cold and murky.

On the bus, gazing lazily outside, she came creeping back out of her dark tunnel of the soul. When finally stood inside my flat, turning the key in the key whole, I realized what it was. Now, after I was alone home, she (how do I know it is a she?) didn’t need much time to signal she was there. Even while opening letters with bills, trying to decipher what they meant, I could feel her tingling down my belly.

There was no doubt anymore – I was horny and I was it the whole day long! The question was only “is it strong enough to do anything about it?”.

I must admit that being home alone can have its benefits. The possibilities are practically endless: in bed with candle light? In a warm bathtub? Or maybe in front of the PC – how could I get more romantic?

Never mind what happened afterwards, but I decided for the PC option. You might be surprised as it had absolutely nothing to do with porn, god forbid. it had more to do with a little devil that was making me crazy since few days. The fact that I didn’t keep on writing about it, doesn’t mean I was not thinking about it.

Looking backwards I guess I was pretty horny. So it was worth doing something about it but even more than that:

I finally ordered the poor little thing!

I didn’t even have to register to order it – just put in the basket and checkout. Now, after ordering it, I found myself anxiously wondering about how long it will take to arrive at my apartment. Since 30+ years I’ve been vibratorless and suddenly I feel like I could not live a further moment without one. I guess it is a simple orgasm anxiety, nothing to worry about.

Can’t believe I finally did it!