I simply don’t understand myself,  so if you do not understand me as well, know that you are not alone: I am no longer living in my mom’s house, I no longer have to hid sex related stuff in some dark corner of my closet, I no longer have to have my orgasms while on mute and I stopped earning minimum wage, flipping burgers,  since quite some time now.

So why the hell am I still staring at the tiny vibrator on my PC screen and do nothing about it? I feel like an old watch-dog that was tied to a pole for all its life, and suddenly when fate comes and decides to break the chain and set it free, it simply stays there, in the place where it was bound for for all its. There it is all familiar and safe and relaxed. Why do I often feel that the unfamiliar, the unknown is also unsafe? Why can’t I relax about it and simply make the move? So many questions, not many adequate answers.

Maybe it is the wish to stretch this feeling a bit more? The feeling of before becoming something else, something new? The thing after which all will be changed. Maybe it is the need to prove myself that I can control my desires, that I can put off the strongest of incentives. I wonder what could make me do this step. Should it be a kick in the butt (I really should go talk to Alice) or will a simple call to action button be enough? Something like this:

Now I don’t even have the excuse about the price anymore. At $3.46 (free shipping) it is not even worth mentioning it.

Finally, after thinking about it real hard, I decided to do something – and wait a bit more. As making a good pasta tomato sauce, you need to cook the sauce really long to get the taste to open up. I guess I need to take my time, open up first. I just hope I don’t overcook my noodles while at it!

Photo by: mcPig

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 3rd, 2010 at 00:42 and is filed under Pleasure at Leisure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.