Who gives herself an orgasm in such early hours of the evening? Who gets all shaky legs from an orgasm? Who falls a sleep after an orgasm?! What am I? – A man?! That is not normal, I tell you.

Well, when thinking about it, it wasn’t an orgasm. They were two. One right after the other! That is not normal, I tell you.

That little devil! It knew it all along. Hiding that little secret of his. Well now that little-big secret is ours. Its mine too.

The moment I put it on, I knew this is going to end up goodly. I could feel those vibrations all the way up and down my spine. That is not normal, I tell you.

I will have to share this with the whole living female universe. I will have to tell it (the female universe) all about it. Tell them so they will not wait, will not hesitate, will run and get one of their own!

Oh hell, I might as well start now: females of the universe, go get yourself a vibrator! Otherwise it is not normal, I tell you!

Let me get back to you girls. I am too shaky now to get any further line right.

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling inside, like something is going to happen. It disappeared when I arrived at work, or I guess it was masked by the stress and commotion in the office. Today was a stressed day, it seems to me like everyone needs something from me (mostly information…) and I can’t say no to my dear new team – I simply like them a lot. The funny thing is that we are all new to this. I got here only one month before them. Still I see that this makes a big difference.

At lunch break I felt it once again. I had a few moments alone and this feeling surfaced once again. It was pleasant, which made me immediately worried… After lunch I got even more busy with all the paper work that I barely had the time to have my regular cup of tea. It just stood there on my desk, in my miniature cubical and got cold and murky.

On the bus, gazing lazily outside, she came creeping back out of her dark tunnel of the soul. When finally stood inside my flat, turning the key in the key whole, I realized what it was. Now, after I was alone home, she (how do I know it is a she?) didn’t need much time to signal she was there. Even while opening letters with bills, trying to decipher what they meant, I could feel her tingling down my belly.

There was no doubt anymore – I was horny and I was it the whole day long! The question was only “is it strong enough to do anything about it?”.

I must admit that being home alone can have its benefits. The possibilities are practically endless: in bed with candle light? In a warm bathtub? Or maybe in front of the PC – how could I get more romantic?

Never mind what happened afterwards, but I decided for the PC option. You might be surprised as it had absolutely nothing to do with porn, god forbid. it had more to do with a little devil that was making me crazy since few days. The fact that I didn’t keep on writing about it, doesn’t mean I was not thinking about it.

Looking backwards I guess I was pretty horny. So it was worth doing something about it but even more than that:

I finally ordered the poor little thing!

I didn’t even have to register to order it – just put in the basket and checkout. Now, after ordering it, I found myself anxiously wondering about how long it will take to arrive at my apartment. Since 30+ years I’ve been vibratorless and suddenly I feel like I could not live a further moment without one. I guess it is a simple orgasm anxiety, nothing to worry about.

Can’t believe I finally did it!

La pasta è la vita!

I simply don’t understand myself,  so if you do not understand me as well, know that you are not alone: I am no longer living in my mom’s house, I no longer have to hid sex related stuff in some dark corner of my closet, I no longer have to have my orgasms while on mute and I stopped earning minimum wage, flipping burgers,  since quite some time now.

So why the hell am I still staring at the tiny vibrator on my PC screen and do nothing about it? I feel like an old watch-dog that was tied to a pole for all its life, and suddenly when fate comes and decides to break the chain and set it free, it simply stays there, in the place where it was bound for for all its. There it is all familiar and safe and relaxed. Why do I often feel that the unfamiliar, the unknown is also unsafe? Why can’t I relax about it and simply make the move? So many questions, not many adequate answers.

Maybe it is the wish to stretch this feeling a bit more? The feeling of before becoming something else, something new? The thing after which all will be changed. Maybe it is the need to prove myself that I can control my desires, that I can put off the strongest of incentives. I wonder what could make me do this step. Should it be a kick in the butt (I really should go talk to Alice) or will a simple call to action button be enough? Something like this:

Now I don’t even have the excuse about the price anymore. At $3.46 (free shipping) it is not even worth mentioning it.

Finally, after thinking about it real hard, I decided to do something – and wait a bit more. As making a good pasta tomato sauce, you need to cook the sauce really long to get the taste to open up. I guess I need to take my time, open up first. I just hope I don’t overcook my noodles while at it!

Photo by: mcPig

Its been a while since the last guy left my flat.

I was over the shouting, over the door slamming and over the crying, so I once again set down  in my shabby computer chair and turn on the PC.  The colored transparent thing, like an over sized antibiotics capsule with a knob, flickered happily in my direction. I stumbled upon it by chance, as I was looking for a key-chain that lights in the dark. After I found out that DealExtreme makes free shipments no matter how big the order I started seriously considering it.

How long could you hold on? How long could you go on staring at it and take no action?

For some time now I had an eye for the thing. It is not that I woke up one day having its picture in my head, this came only later. What I DID wake up once with, was the understanding that I needed to let a vibrator literally penetrate into my life. Here it was – suddenly so clear, so obvious.

It’s like still dreaming in the early hours of the morning: sunlight penetrates through your eyelids. It is obvious that the sun is already up in the sky but only when you put your attention to it, that you realize that it’s been there, waiting for you. Oh – and that you are late for work again!